How can someone want another, but not want them at the same time?

i don't know.

beats me, i myself can't decide.

*sigh.

I'd long thrown her away out of the picture.

Seems like i was wrong ha? :)

That barrier put acrossed between us, it's still her, isn't it?

Admit it.

I feel this shiz is going no where.

*sigh.

But giving up, would only ..

*sigh.

I don't know how far this might be true, but yeah, it would only lead you to another break-up,

a phase where you're left alone - all over again.

I know you don't want me to go.

But i know too you don't want me to stay.

Do you know how much hurt i get whenever i see you down?

You don't know i can see right through you, do you?

You pretend you're okaay,

crack a little joke, and laugh your ass off.

But hey, i've known you for a year now. :)

Don't try to lie.

Sometimes, i feel like crying FOR you in front of you.

I feel like taking away all the pain for you.

I feel like pulling you into an embrace, and whisper in your ear with a light finger gentlty stroking your face from the corner of your eyes to your chin,

whispering; "It'll be fine, i promise. If she can't love you, I can. :') "

But i never do.

Why?

Cause everytime i get that close to you emotionally, you'll push me away.

Then later, you'll pull me back in again.

When i get close again, you push me away!

It's endless!

abeyh, buat ape lagy i ade kat sini.

kan?

*sigh.

So, i met ex today.

By accident.

Wasn't planned at all.

Malay O's were a tad screwed, but it was ok.

Just a matter of if i can get a distinction for it or not.

Will talk my way for my marks for the upcoming oral.

Ex too had his exams today, but i don't know how it'd go for him. :/

but he'll be fine. :)

Played monopoly w ex and the rest @ bm.

Azul was there. ;D (dahlostchemistrydah~haha.)

Everyone got to know about the amin thing.

Ex kept disturbing me to give my no. away -.-'

Ex did something that totatlly turned me on ;)

cb! apesal pada pandangan aku kau hot setan?! _|_

aku benci kau!

bye.

stated diffs-

*You attend her dance practs and support. :(

*You've never said a single vulgar shit to her, and if you do, she'll fvck you up.

*You paid for her phone bill.

*You paid for her food and drinks.

*You made sure your time was always well-spent and well-thought - enough for girlfriend and friends.