I keep thinking of all the negatives, to keep pushing myself away. But the more of the negatives i force myself to think about, the more the 'undesired stuffs' i don't wish to know, surface. I don't like it. I really don't. I don't want to think of it as an all bad thing! My heart breaks and rips itself apart, but my mind keeps telling me to keep pushing myself. It's contradicting, really. I don't show any much anymore. I don't rant alot like how i use to. I don't say the kind of phrases i use to say to my kins. Now, it's different. Previously, i'll occupy my thoughts with the kind which are like, 'I know you love me, how can you not? After all we've been through. After all that you've said and done to and for me. I know you love me, even if we're no longer together anymore.' It makes my mind go haywire, but my heart at peace. :')

But now, to push myself to the ultimate climax, to eventually, hopefully, pull all these off - I think about how much of a b*tch you were, and still are, towards me. My mind's now straightened, questions are so much easier to answer. Sadly, it breaks me further inside. I'm gona come out of this, not finding me anymore, not knowing who i am or who i use to be. But definitely, i'll come out of it as someone new. I don't want this. It's not that i don't want you, i do. It's not that i don't love you, i love you forever. But in a different way now. I hope you take good care of yourself. Cause your scent still lingers around me. Forever, you're a fingerprint of the heart. I'll never forget you.