sorry for the late update, have been v.busy w fam.

will update for the days i missed,

again, look out for my archives ;D

Today, i turned down quite a few people to go slack.

Well, firstly, was because, i wanted to do up my homework.

*which i gave up halfway as mommy kept nagging at me to do house work and stop "acting", wtf? =.=" *

Secondly, i just don't have the mood to. ):

Ugh! I want [C] , but finish :(

haz, you owe me!

HAHA xD

4days no [C], can still survive.

you can not?

LOLOLOLOLOL xD

so anyways, yest night, was chaotic.

THINGS were happening around.

Some, i wasn't even aware of til just now.

& so, ayid broke up w fyrynn :(

won't elaborate here, amanah siol!

so people out there, don't rub it into her face now you know ok?

*not refering to anyone, swears.*

she needs a friend now.

So, Go. :D

Secondly, i got to know, yest afternoon,

... slacked w his friends at bedok w two other girls! =.="

idk why, i tend to be jealous of these things!

Ugh.

Hehe xD

Secondly, yest night,

Gopal, Parvish, & Jaryl, talked to ... about,

stuffs.

I only know what jaryl and parvish said,

Gopal, idk? :(

My first and foremost worry, would be,

Are You Okaay? :(

Hais. I'm still not sure if i did the right thing telling your friends about it,

I just had to let it out, & they seemed to be interested in the topic and really wanted to know):

If you were torn, shattered, heartbroken-ed by the news, I'm so so sorry. :'(

Lastly,

It's been 2weeks now.

Haven't been counting the days, til only this afternoon,

Time flies.

I still have dreams of you.

Every night.

Reason why i sleep late?

I'm scared to dream. :(

V.scared

While i'm saying and admitting all this, i hear your voice at the back of my head,

'Be strong.'

;'(

I don't understand why.

why'd you have to pick me up in the first place?

why'd you go through so much w me?

why'd you rely on me?

why'd you be there for me all the time?

fam probs, friends prob, dance prob, ?

Everything.

then, why'd you have to leave?

after all we've been through?

that very much of shits and bliss?

all thrown away?

just like that?

where did i go wrong? ;'(

I keep blaming myself.

Others too,

they's like,

'You see indah! I've told you many2 times, but you still don't listen! See what has happened? Ugh! If only you listened to me! He won't even be mad in the frist place.'

and

'But when i was w him, he wasn't even near all that'

Fine. Because i'm a bad gf(WAS.) that's why he got mad at me alot.

Ok?

hais.

So here now,

I want to finally say,

Someone, made me realise,

after all i've done?

being patient, understanding, and v.trustworthy of him,

that, was something.

not many girls can do.

like not contacting for a month?

& still know that, 'Oh he's fine, he doesn't have any other girl behind my back and he won't do stupid stuffs.'

When i look at it back then, i'd be like, yeahh ok? isn't that normal? he's my boyf(WAS.), & i trust him.

But now, looking back,

haha xD

I'm glad i wasn't a controlfreak/his personal remote control.

Nevertheless, what's done is done.

Please don't push me to get over it and find someone new.

Cause once it gets overboard, i'mma get myself a new boyf and use him the hell up.

ok? (:

Just to satisfy you all.

But i don't want to.

Don't force me.

I'm gona stay on the path of being true to myself! (:

accepting that he left. ;'(

& also accepting that i love him so much, like no other girl can.

idk if i still have the confidence/hope to get you back,

but it's ok. ( i think? )

iloveyou.

only you~